Irony in the cells, Bloodlines and Backbones.

In my family, on both sides, I'm the only only child.

My father was one of 8.
All the siblings very close, and which I might add; when I met them it was clear where my sense of humor and personality was inherited from.
There are I believe 37 of us.
The eldest passed away this week. God rest her soul.

She has three beautiful, brilliant, strong hearted daughters whom have seen another side of this world which is surely un-even. And two of them grown, have come out better for it.

I didn't know Donna very well. But I know the rest of my family well enough to know that if she was born into this family, there probably wasn't a mean bone in her body. Just a feisty one.

The women in my family tend to get that way...to say the least.
Her daughters being my cousins make me proud. They can live on, and show through themselves the best of her, which I'm sure was handed down to them.

To lose a mother,.....or to not really ever have one......is more of a challenge to a girl than anyone could really try to assume.
We as women are naturally resilient, especially at young ages.
A mother's love can be found in a cousin, or a sister, or a friend.
It can be found in the heart of an older woman we might work with.
Through friendly conversation, and advice.
Even a joke.
But it can never really be what we need it to be unless it's from our own.
That's why she's called Mom.
Because she's special.


Considering the kind of family my father left me. Through our tears, I know there is only laughter and warmth to be found when we see each other again. Tomorrow, I hope she knows it's in her memory, and her daughters future.


On my mothers' side........
Whoah mama.

My grandparents were both one of 8.
Gramma has 6 brothers and 1 sister.
Papa had 6 sisters and 1 brother.
Each of them had about 4 kids.....and so on.

The best part, is that we were
ALL
RAISED
TOGETHER

Imagine having a portuguese community, where you are literally related to half the town. Or in my case...half the state because of ONE nationality.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing....I mean it's hard to date.....but,
I'm just sayin.

Another cousin of mine.
Whom I might say is a very very sweet playful soul.
With a responsible heart, and not enough appropriate challenges given.
He's seen the hard things in life, and knows certain truths.
He lost his father.
Which is something that engraves a kind of frustration in your soul it's hard to bear without questions.
Questions we want answers to that we can only find ourselves in solace.
There can never be blame.
As a child when you lose your father..., you want a hug from him, you want to ask him questions, you want,...... Period.
That want lasts a lifetime, and it never really goes away.
It cannot be replaced.
But it can be understood, and motivation, it can be the biggest challenge of your life.

My cousin Mark is an amazing person.
And for him to be wanting at any place, in any time, would break my heart.
Because you shouldn't have to want that before you become a parent yourself.
The love of a parent...that is.


My mother was never a mom......I never really got to know my father....
In my extremely large family there are graces that are given to me that I see in my relatives.
This world did not give me parents.
It gave me SO MANY OTHER INCREDIBLE PEOPLE
And EVERY DAY.
All I could ever want, is for my family to know,
I love them.
I miss them.
And today especially,
I understand.
Whadddya say cousins...Lets Get Crunk!

We have not grown apart, we can only grow further together.
For hopes that our futures do not have to be filled with sadness.
If you read this. I hope you know, that most every day.....family.....
I think of you,....I anticipate making memories.................................
and family fun nights...
It's been about Forty Funerals; How about a wedding?