Natural Quest for life.

This week has been challenging for me with my job.
In light of things I am able to be flexible within my work. I love the people I take care of as though they were my own family, and I get to spend significant amounts of one on one time with them which motivates me to keep up stimulating conversation, thought, activity, and every day events in life.

My ability to do this, and attempt at doing it well (which I've been told I do at an unusually young age) I do credit to the fact that I have naturally high maternal instincts.
As well as a very organized and motivated mind.




My point I'm working towards has to do with a theory that is century's old.
Nurture vs. Nature.

In a sense of questions.

Today at work I was cleaning the kitchen with the news on. There happened to be an anouncer on the air that stated in a VERY surprised tone that couples are and I quote
"ACTUALLY TAKING PARENTING PREPARATION CLASSES BEFORE THEY GET PREGNANT"
I thought to myself, IT"S ABOUT FUCKING TIME
The other Anchorman questioned said announcer on this statement saying
"why would you take a class? Wouldn't you be able to know? Or rely on the people around you to help when you have questions?"

I think both of them are idiots.
The woman first, because she's actually surprised and almost a little disappointed about it.
Clearly there are no bad teenage parent's out there who might have needed this kind of class...
And then the asshole for saying rely on the people around you.
What if there ARE NO PEOPLE.
There are couples and women out there who have no clue, are frightened, alone, young, uneducated and/or wanting to learn. This makes knowledge of certain things available.

Now It may sound like I judge sometimes, I admit.
But I'm not, in my heart. I'm well aware of how very human I am as well as everyone else.
But I seriously wonder sometimes about people in my life as well as those I come across and hear about every day in this world.

I work in health care. Right?
I see all sorts of curious happenings that most or some people don't have the patience, ideal, heart, or stomach for. At least this is what I'm told from most people I encounter.....

So I do meet a lot, A LOT of people.
I've met some women who, bless their hearts,....have had Artificial Inseminatinon/Invitro.

These women I have met all have children of a similar age, that come from similar backgrounds.

One of these women is ill. Another has a career that she focuses heavily on. And why shouldn't she?
We want it all right?
Both of her children have SEVERE attitude, learning, and social difficulties.
The other mother has Alzheimers.
She is unable to be there for her daughter.

What if this was the reason she was unable to have children?
She simply was not meant to.

I've had this dicussion before ranging over many different reasons, topics and ideas on wether or not I am overthinking this issue.
This world is too heavily populated. Too many people are having children for too many reasons, and the ones who are having children 70% of the time can't afford, can't actually be there, or are not parent's.

These women could have adopted, there are billions of children out there who have no home and a big whole life ahead of them with lots of love in their hearts to give.
More importantly you would be able to choose your child.
when someone chooses you....could you think about how good that makes your heart feel?

But we, humans, persistant smart little fuckers that we are, made it possible for those couples who just have the idea of parenthood in their heads to have a baby of their own.
That they will one day not be able to raise as a decent human being because not even halfway into their journey one of them turned into a child as well.

One reason in particular this topic edges me more than some is because of my own parents. Although I am no longer harboring any anger towards my mom. I've tried time and time again to withhold a relationship with her. I do see how much of a good person in her heart she is.
The rest is something I personally paid for with my childhood.


I have a few friends. Just a few who have grown up with VERY similar childhoods, and the problems have been as well.
There were people I knew who had similar lives as my own but decidedly chose to look down a negative road. Only believing that what they were given was what they were worth.
Not to make it better. Not to try to change it.

Just to accept it and be part of it.
At what point in our minds does the switch go off that says "give up here"
Is it a significant loss? Is it our soul? Is it example? Or do we simply choose how we look at each and every incident in our life subconsciously, using our lives re-occuring events as an excuse to stay in the negative comformality so that we can try to "fix" our problems in a falsified manner.

Using technology or fads to attempt a real change in our health.
Using hobbies or relationships as busy work to substitute what we really need deep down in our hearts to be happy.
It's cliche, and I'm certainly not the first person to say it. I won't be the last.
EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
Every decision, every thought, every sight, emotion, encounter, event.
Everything.

But what if, just what if we took into the real reasons things happen to us?

What if we place trust in the decisions that are placed upon us with fate, or if you don't believe in fate then chance.

Start paying attention, and with ease, attempt to embrace it. Make it a better life for yourself.

I'm not saying to give up on any dreams. Just look down a different path that allows you to live that dream differently, even better than you thought before.

Keep fighting, but keep looking for different doors to open, windows to climb through, paths to go down.
If you keep going down the same road, and it's not working out for you somehow....Shouldn't that tell you something? You're meant for something better.....it doesn't matter for how long. Just keep going until you land exactly, where, you are supposed to be.