My hearty reasoning for questioning the integrity and understanding of the human race holds to the fact that more recently I have felt grey. Some would call it numb.
Although I have always felt the way described in the last post this time it is a fact that my heart is holding true to my soul in what I'm going through.
Recently It would seem as though I am whole.
I feel no pieces missing.
I am comfortable with myself,...and happy....bouncing along as I always have but on better terms and with absolutely no worry.
The thoughts that once raced through my head are gone....
temptation to unnerve me has arrived and I have quickly walked past it's darkness knowing and seeing it for what it really is.
When people quote saying's and proverbs, it bugs me. It always has.
For the one and only reason that 99.999.999 100,000 % of the time.....they have no understanding of what these saying's REALLY mean.
They might get it.
They might see the outcome and know that they don't want to be there.
But they have no idea what it really feels like.
There have been event's leading throughout the past 5 years that I have prayed for, I have asked for, from deep deep within my soul and heart.
There have been people that waltzed into my life and out from along the paths that we walk and seem to cross that have led up to and been a part of this....
On a level for the past month or so I have felt more myself than I ever have.
Not tainted by medicine, or preaching groups, pushing instigators, pressure, hurt, negative influences in social activities or bad people.
I have pushed the darkness out of my soul.
It's gone. and I can literally feel it....
I look around from inside my heart.
This day, and I see a whole wide world, and a ground with no holes, pockets, ant hills, or pestecides.
I see the land healthy and strong.
I see my soul and my world in my heart as it is supposed to be.
I see my life. Starting.
I can't wait to see what's down the road...
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