Game point.

I had to quit my job.

It wasn't a
"Woe is me...."
Or a
"This isn't working for me so much"
Or even a
"I'm so gonna get fired"

They knew I would do what needed to be done.
I cooked, I cleaned, I did errands.
I was the one who parented the twelve year old.
Because she needed it, and because she deserved it.

This family I worked for would sit there and talk about me whenever I wasn't around. Saying whatever insults they could come up with from picking on my tattoo
to having their daughters say
and I quote
"I want to put deana in a room and have my friends come over so I can show them her"
What am I a farm animal?
I can't wait until this stupid Cunt is hit by a truck called life.
I feel bad for her children, they're stupid. She's raising them that way.

My Bosses sister was harassing me on almost a daily basis. She claims I "asked" her for help...and I'm pretty damn sure anyone else who knows me on this planet will vouch that I'm incapable of "asking" for anything.

Wanna know what's wrong with your economy America?
Faggot men who marry unintelligent bimbos who breed children on money.
Parenting like that.
Because they grow up to be money hungry; morally incompetent assholes.


I started pulling out my hair. Because the pain of it released the endorphins that I would have gotten if I acted on beating the crap out of this woman.
She's a blonde, power hungry, piece of shit. And her eyebrows have that scary look.
Crazy Eye.

I've been through enough to know when it's mean.
And no, talking about people isn't right.
But seriously, she threatened me, put me down, created situations with manipulative behavior, and gossips about me.
The funny thing is.......
After doing all that, and lying to my face about it when I caught her in action....
The bitch wanted me to shake her hand!?!?!?!

Are you fucking kidding me?

No.
I said blatantly.
She asked "why not?"
I'm surprised that she needed a reason.

I had been looking for a new job to start for the past 4 months.
I landed 6 jobs. And I took two.
The stress she was causing me in this time caused me to crash and burn.

After all the work I've done on myself I felt so disappointed in my strength.
I was capable of turning negatives into positives. And I never expected to change anyone.
Nor did I believe it was possible or want to.

That wasn't the part of it that caused me to get so upset.
It was the fact that this woman was in her fifties, and went to such great lengths to emotionally vandalize a person who cared about her family.
It was my job, but more than that I treated it gently...

Human Nature never ceases to amaze me.

I don't think that I'm blind sided, or jaded. Because I still look at it from outside the box.


So my patient started hitting me one morning when I tried to get her to take a shower.
It was a monday, and her hair was greasy from not being taken care of on the weekends
(which was normally how I would find her)

With her daughter and niece upstairs playing music; I let it go.
I walked away muttering go fuck yourself under my breath.

I went upstairs to clean the much needed pile of run through clothes from the weekend.

She climbed out the window.
To go across the street to her evil sister in laws house.

Okay :)

I let it happen.
I had enough.

My Boss asked me later that week why It happenned?
With a gruff face
"Why did his 58 year old mentally ill wife manage to get out"

"I'm exhausted.
I do everything in my power to take care of your sorry lazy ass, to raise your daughter and to manage a crazy person and you do everything in your power to work against me to douche.
That's why."

I quit.

The next week I moved out and he tried to withhold my paycheck from me.
I stress the word "tried"

Considering the circumstances, and the fact that I didn't develop a drinking problem and held this job for almost two years. Methinks I did well.

I might have quit something for the first time in my life.

But that little girl I was taking care of knows she has a big sister out there who will tell her the truth about life but give hugs no matter what.


Home. Because I clicked my heels three times.
In a weeks time I found myself the most amazing apartment,
sitting behind a river, in an old country town, next to a brewery, above an organic coffee shop.
My bedroom window has a fancy boutique sign outside.
And my roommates are good people.

Good people.

I got a job at a Buffalo Wild Wings.

Beer. Sports. Wings.
As I spout their anthem proudly ....the crew I work with is really decent.
Everyone works together, and we all do our fair share.
The management doesn't play on Team Suck. BONUS!

And As of now.....I'm happily enjoying the beginning of my life.

My turnaround point.
This was it.

I started running.
Honestly , twice a week.
Now I'm bumping it up....and I'm going to try for every day.

My hair has started growing back.
I'm losing weight again.
And I'm thoroughly happy.

----------->INSERT TOOTHY GRIN HERE<-------------

My main objective now is to find a writing job.
A writing job about survival.
Something that will push my limits physically, in a company that will give me assignments to do so.
I want to find a company where my boss sees my potential and shows me the directions I can go in to flourish with it.

I've been through beyond hell and fire mentally and emotionally.
I'm sound. I'm here. I'm alive. I'm well.

This is my next goal....
Within it. I'm writing a small excerpt about getting physically fit.
So if you're interested in reading my cynical spouts and
no so how to- more how I did
Check out my other blog. Pass it around.

If there is ever one thing I need. It's support. And my gratitude would be never ending.

I got to this point with very few people in my life who actually care about me.
Round about 2.

It's not easy. And if you have parents that love you. I suggest you give them a hug.
If you have people in your life that care for you. Give them a hug.
A smile.
Hang out with them.

Support is the greatest tool you can give someone.
It allows them to succeed in the greatest and worst of ventures because it is the knowledge that someone is not going to judge them if they should fail.

I never really had much of that.
But I'm still standing, and now stronger than before.
I'm still in the Game.
The only difference is................................................

Now I know how to play and I have my objective.