Redemption with your own soul. After the Demons are gone...

When we lose someone or when we lose something in ourselves.
Through strength in our minds when we cross and emotional bound in borders, there is greif.
Everyone deals with it differently,
some people cry, drink, shop...eat...
I've met people who have completely let go of all inhibitions and took the needle completely off their own moral compass.

But what happens when we gain?
When we become whole?

Is it really different for anyone?
Or do we all act the same.
What makes us whole to begin with?

Is it really love?

I personally believe that one should completely find themselves or know as much as you can about how to love yourself in a positive way...before finding someone to share your life with.

In that belief, I think it's responsible for people to spread their wings financially, educationally, live on their own...REALLY live on their own.
And be humbled.

But what happens when you're grown that way, all the days of your young life.

When is enough enough and it's time for happiness?
Is it earned?

My beliefs are so put together from so many different trains of thought it's like a berry pie.
(with pumpkin added in)

Tasty,...but a little tough to handle.
IT'S SO GOOD YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT!

A very close friend of mine passed away a few weeks ago.
Another friend of mine blamed herself.
I verbally slapped her. Then gave her a hug.

It is not our fault what happens in this world when it comes to someone else's decisions...or someone dying in their sleep.

Within reason...I mean....there's always influence.
But if we could take observation, and filter it with realism on a balanced scale. Add a little positivity, and base your decisions so that you benefit from them but don't actually hurt anyone in the making.
Or at least hurt them as little as possible.
How do we play honesty into that?
Honesty doesn't hurt people.
It stings.
For realsies.
It hurts for a minute,....but then you realize that pain you have is the searing rip of emotional protective duct tape being ripped off. and bearing your real skin.

Then you get a tan. Because the universe is SO PROUD of you for humbling yourself!

If people understood that, don't you think this world would be a better place?
There will always be lessons to learn, always obstacles to overcome.

But it's our choice to let them build up like a wall of rubble.....and cower....or be a marathon runner and fly over hurdles.

We choose our own roads and let who and what we want in.

When it comes to luck?
Negativity will follow things through events.

I was proposed to when I was 21.
I said "not yet"
Not no,....just not yet.
He left a few months later for separate reasons that added insult to injury.
He wouldn't take the ring back.
I had nightmares....for a year. Until I hunted him down and made him take it.
To this day, he still offers me to keep it.

I've had presents be given to me out of guilt...and when I got rid of them....bad things slowly stopped happening.

You can't buy "right".

It's not money, or the physical things in this world that matter....life is not a sale of any kind.

It's an extravagant journey. And you choose exactly how far you travel, when you stop to rest, and who joins you. Good or Bad.

People told me alot when I was growing up that I read too deep into things.
As I got older I was told my old soul was appreciated.
I've been pushing harder for myself in the past year than I ever have...(and that's pretty hard)
And Now,....

I'm on my way to being the Happiest Mother Fucker I've ever met.

Pssshhht.
I think too deep.
Y'all don't think enough.